I feel like I have been in a fog since Monday afternoon. It started as a great day – I found a feed that I could stream Boston and watched in awe of the elites. I tracked my friends through the day and was happy to hear about others who were there cheering people on. It then turned to joy about hearing that everyone I knew was ok to the terror of watching what was happening.
I feel sick. And sad. And angry. And despair.
There are a lot of tragedies and senseless acts that happen in this world. I know they are upsetting to me and I feel a huge amount of sympathy for those affected but the events in Boston have left me with an overwhelming amount of empathy as to what happened and it has affected way more than I thought anything could.
Why? Cause to me, this is my “Home”. This was my family that was affected: the people out cheering the runners, the volunteers manning the race, the actual runners out there looking for a PB or enjoying the amazing day that it should have been. This is me, my family, my friends.
In the blink of an eye, lives were lost and people changed forever. And is fucking sucks/is unfair/blows/bites/is senseless.
I ran on Tuesday with such a heavy heart. To be honest I really didn’t want to at all. But I thought of what my “Home” has given to me and I knew I had to at least try to give back to it. I ran in my NYC Half shirt that ended covered in sweat…and tears.
I’m never going to BQ. Doesn’t mean I don’t get its allure to runners or I can still have it as a pie in the eye goal. I’ll keep reaching for that goal and support my running community for anyone else striving for that goal and any other they chose.
No one can take that away from us.
To the people who were affected by the scum that did this, my thoughts and prayers are there for you. I wish I had the right words….
I am not going to hide from fear….I am going to run at it.